Outtake Monday: from Cold Magic

As an occasional series, I’m going to post outtakes from my novels. These will be paragraphs and snippets that did not make it into the final volume. I will try not to include major spoilers.

Here are some reasons I cut scenes and paragraphs:

1) The world building needed to be trimmed to allow the narrative to focus on character and plot

2) I changed my mind about the direction the scene was taking

3) It is excess verbiage not germane to the forward push of the narrative (see also #1 above)

4) A change elsewhere in the text made the exchange, scene, or description obsolete

5) I just didn’t want it there any more

 

This outtake is from Cold Magic.

Andevai and Cat are bickering by the campfire of the djelimuso Lucia Kante, in the spirit world. I cut this exchange because I decided it wasn’t necessary to move the plot forward, although I like what it reveals about Andevai’s knowledge of the spirit world.

 

    “I could sit right here until winter solstice, and the mansa could not reach me.”

He laughed sharply.  “Could you?  So let me ask you.  How will you know when enough days and weeks have passed that you may safely cross back over?  And while you linger here, how will you eat and drink?”

Those difficulties had not, in fact, occurred to me.  “There’s water in the well.”

“Will you go hunting, and with what instruments?  Eat the carrion these cats pull down, and hope they do not forget themselves and eat you, while they are hungry and blooded?  Will you gather fruits and roots, and hope those you try are not poisonous, as such things are in the spirit world?  That which is beautiful may be deadly, and that which is ugly may be your friend.  How can you tell the difference?  Born and bred in the city as you so obviously are, do you even know how to find food except at the market?  If so, at what markets may you shop?  With what payment will you purchase that which you need to live?  You know nothing about the spirit world.”

“You have made your point.”

Writing Character: Details

Each character will have an individual way of reacting to and observing the world.  These are the details you as the writer can use to reveal both your world and your character.

The details any character will notice depend on that character’s personality, interests, needs, relationship with other characters, and their cultural landscape, the way they look at the world.

If Cat is hungry (and she’s always hungry), she will notice food, describe food, and be interested in the presence or absence of food.  If Mai is shopping, she will notice silk, its quality and weave and its color and the quality of its dye.  Anji will always be aware of where people are standing in relation to him and his people, and whether those others present a threat.

Another character may not notice those very same things even if they are at the first character’s side, or they may register them in the most cursory sense.

Another character might be more of a listener, attuned to sounds.  Another might only really notice people and their reactions rather than noticing space and setting.  Another might not notice much of anything, being more involved in their own thoughts.  A character who lives within a culture will notice different things about what’s going on around them than a traveler new to the culture.

When you as the writer start thinking about filtering details through the characters’ point of view, it becomes easier to decide which details are necessary to the story and which you don’t need.

Women and Fantasy

Sherwood Smith has posted about the panel I was on at WFC San Diego (2011), “The Crystal Ceiling.” (an unfortunate title, if I must say so, and I must)

The Crystal Ceiling: Is there still a distinction between “women’s” and “men’s” fantasy and horror?

I found it interesting, and disappointing, that the panel was all women: Kate Elliott, Charlaine Harris, Nancy Kilpatrick, Jane Kindred, and Malinda Lo.I don’t know how many men volunteered, who picked the panelists, whether it was a man or a woman, but when I walked into that panel and saw all women getting up on the podium, I thought “Here’s our conclusion before a word is spoken.”

An interesting discussion follows in the comments. ETA: Juliet McKenna and Aliette deBodard also weigh in.

Charles Tan at Bibliophile Stalker has put up an audio file of the panel because he is awesome. Scroll down for the link; there are many other excellent links in this roundup post of World Fantasy Con/San Diego 2011.

I don’t have much yet to say about the panel beyond that the other panelists (Charlaine Harris, Malinda Lo, Nancy Kirkpatrick, & Jane Kindred) were fabulous and I thought the dynamic between panelists and between panel and audience went well — we all agreed we wanted to take a lot of questions and comments from the audience, and the audience had plenty of good things to say.

I’ll have more to expound upon about The Female Gaze vs. The Male Gaze in SFF, but I’m still working on that post. Suffice to say that I am not an essentialist: When I say Female and Male Gaze I’m talking about cultural gender issues and ways of seeing.

I very much appreciated how Charlaine Harris came right out and said she and other mystery & crime writers had experienced marginalization, and how they formed Sisters in Crime to combat their second class status. I often feel that too frequently when women writers and artists make such a statement that they are criticized for it, so I was impressed that Harris, in her powerful position as a New York Times #1 bestseller with besides that a hit tv show based on her books, was not only willing to but ready to speak out.

She later said to me, when we were outside briefly discussing how the panel had gotten onto the topic of Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight series: “I love to see women writers succeed.”

I do not think that gender plays no role in how writers’ works are assessed. This doesn’t mean gender always plays a role, but the thing about making any such statement for or against is that it is difficult if not impossible to prove that gender never plays a role or always plays a role in the way a reader may approach a work or judge it. Furthermore, the action of bringing up the possibility is itself fraught and political, moreso, I think, if a woman mentions it than if a man does.

One of the things I said on the panel was to paraphrase an provocative comment made in, I believe, Cheryl Morgan’s blog by Susan Loyal. I don’t recall the actual post. Discussing the question of how the work of women is received, she pointed out that in her experience of reading reviews and reader blogs, that work by men could be flawed AND still important, while work by women, if flawed, could therefore not be important.

Furthermore, back in March 2011, Niall Harrison on Strange Horizons did a breakdown of gender balance at book review venues in the sff field. Male writers receive a disproportionate share of review space. In the new age of social media where visibility plays a crucial role in determining success for a writer (in terms of being read), such a discrepancy should startle us, but unfortunately it seems all too familiar.

What this means, surely, is that VISIBILITY is the first obstacle or, if we combine visibility with Loyal’s statement about flaws and importance, it may be suggested that male writers are routinely judged to be more worthy of reviewing OR they may simply be the ones who are noticed and picked up to be reviewed while others are ignored, dismissed, or never seen at all.

Obviously many writers, both male and female, do not get the visibility we would wish for them to have. I note also that there are now a huge number of book blogs that specifically target the Young Adult, Romance, and Urban Fantasy/Paranormal readers, often read and written by women. I think it is not a coincidence that these genres have strong sales by taking women seriously and granting them importance as readers, as writers, and as characters. At the same time I see admiration for the books and sales numbers, I do also sometimes see a fair bit of hostility directed at these genres from outside.

Let me just suggest that issues of disparity remain an overall problem (see also this study of income disparity in the creative fields), and turn my attention specifically back to the sff field.

Are some readers inclined to be more critical of a book simply if the writer is a woman? Out of conscious bias, or perhaps subconscious bias? I don’t know, and I’m not sure how we can really tell.

Is there an issue with some women, as writers, not filtering their stories in a way that fits the perceived defaults within the male gaze? Smith defines the male gaze this way:

the male gaze is still the default cultural point of view. That means, whenever men look at is important, from persons to politics to entertainment. It is important for everybody. Whatever women look at is for women, of lesser significance.

A story may be seen as intrinsically flawed when it is more properly described as not being written from the male gaze. In such a case, it may be the female gaze that informs the story that is being denigrated. Such a reader may simply be unable see a story told from a different perspective than the male gaze as having the same intrinsic worth; it may be seen as badly written or plotted, or as problematic because it is not of interest to such a reader , or as lacking importance. A standard if cliched example might be that a story in which swords or guns are described in detail as a means to enhance character and action would be seen as exciting and meaningful while one that highlighted descriptions of midwifery or sewing and clothing as a way to enhance character and action might be described as dull or wordy or tangential or, worst, girly.

An argument can also be made, however, that mixed or bad reviews given women writers are no different from mixed and bad reviews given to male writers within our field in the same way that a good review is a good review regardless of the gender of the reviewer, reader, and writer.

How do the statistical discrepancies fit into this? I don’t know. But if women writers are being reviewed less than men writers, except in fields designated as “female driven,” then I submit there may be a problem that can only be fixed by recognition that there are discrepancies and by conscious effort to acknowledge gender bias and work to change the ways we look at what matters and what is worthy of inclusion in the stories we think are important enough to pay attention to.

Songs That Go With Books

In the wake of the release of Cold Fire, two different readers have (independently) written to me with songs they felt captured the emotion of the often tumultuous relationship between Cat and Andevai. One, in California, suggested I listen to “White Blank Page” by Mumford & Sons. An Aussie recommended “Draw Your Swords” by Angus & Julia Stone. Not only do I think both songs work in terms of emotional resonance, but I also like both (and now have them on my computer so I can listen to them over and over again).

I do have an extensive playlist of music to create mood as I write. And I realize that not all writers can or wish to write with music on, nor should they need to; that’s not what I’m discussing here.

I’m interested in songs whose lyrics or tonal qualities evoke a moment or emotion or relationship from a book.

Is there a song or are there songs that specifically create that feeling for you? For one of your own books? Or for books (and characters) you’ve read? And if so, in what way or for what aspect?

NaNoWriMo:

Cold Steel: 445 — Short of goal, but I also now know how to fix the sequence I’m writing, which I’ll start rewriting tomorrow.

Secondary Project #2: 793 — I’m poking at several secondary projects; I’ve had a really hard year and I’m experimenting with writing a selection of opening sequences in different styles and approaches to get my flow back.

Project List: 564 — Not fiction but synopses for three projects.

That’s just shy of my overall goal of 2000 words, but I’ll take it.

Cold Fire Word Cloud & NaNoWriMo Day 1 (2011)

For the first day of NaNoWriMo I offer up the Cold Fire Word Cloud. Click through to see the Cold Fire Wordle

Today included some discussion of the problem of too much research and/or worldbuilding bogging down stories. It’s received wisdom, and I think reasonably true, that YA calls for less world building on the page. My one concern about that is that by stripping out too much world building in an sffh YA setting, one unintended result is that the setting smooths more and more into a default generic American or Euro/Am.

Wordage:

1250 on Cold Steel (for the first day after a week off as I get back into the flow, that’s decent; I’m aiming for 2K/day).

850 on my new secondary project, which I’m doing in part to write something I have no expectations of, so I can get more relaxed into writing for the pure pleasure of working on a story for the delight of the process. This does NOT mean I don’t enjoy writing Cold Steel. It’s just that writing the first draft of Cold Steel has a lot more built in pressure because of expectations raised by the first two books.

NaNoWriMo. Plus signed copies of Spiritwalker books

I’m going to participate on a parallel track in NaNoWriMo (more on that later) and also try to post something about writing every day in this blog, answering questions I haven’t gotten to yet, discussing world building, or just a short snippet of something I’ve been thinking about regarding the art and craft of writing.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask them here, now, or later, or on Twitter or Facebook or via email.

 

FYI: While at World Fantasy Convention in San Diego, I signed copies of both Cold Magic and Cold Fire as well as rare copies of a printed pamphlet version of Bonus Chapter 31.5 (there aren’t many of these). So if you want, contact Mysterious Galaxy Books, Borderlands Books, or Larry Smith Bookseller.

What are you reading?

Travel day!

I’m reading Sherwood Smith’s Banner of the Damned, still in manuscript. I’m reading to make comments. Smith’s writing in this novel shows a writer at the height of her powers: beautiful prose plus a bone deep understanding of the cultures through which her characters travel. A novel like this one could be required reading in world building. I believe it’s due for publication in 2012.

Because reading to comment (beta-reading) is a different kettle of fish from reading for pleasure, I’m also reading J. Damask’s  Wolf At The Door (urban fantasy set in Singapore by a Singaporean writer) and Noble Peace Prize winner Leymah Gbowee’s memoir (with Carol Mithers) Mighty Be Our Powers.

 

What are you reading? And why?

WFC, a signing & meetup in San Diego, Cold Steel

I’m going to be in San Diego next week for World Fantasy Convention (Oct 27 – 30).

#1  If you’re in the area, I will be at the Open House at Mysterious Galaxy Bookstore in San Diego on Wed 26 Oct from 630 – 830 pm.

This open house is not a WFC convention event. Anyone can attend, & bring books to be signed (do check the policy for how many books you can bring into the store since there will be a number of authors attending and they need to expedite the process). As always, it helps independent bookstores to survive in a difficult economy if you buy a book there as well, but it is not required.

I will have copies of the paper pamphlet version of the Bonus Chapter from COLD FIRE to sign and give away. (Also at the WFC autographing session, mentioned below, and the meetup.)

#2  I am also scheduling a meetup at 3:30 pm on Friday 28 October. Meet outside the Sunshine Deli on the grounds of the WFC hotel, the Town and Country. This is an informal meetup for whomever shows up, and I don’t expect there to be more than a couple people, so it’s really a chance to visit (as compared to the open house at Mysterious Galaxy, which will be crowded). I’ll answer questions, maybe read a snippet from Cold Steel, and we’ll talk writing and books (I’ll sign books if you bring them). This is not a convention event; if you’re in the area and want to come by, just do so (no badge necessary).

#3 My WFC Schedule:

I have one panel: 1 pm Friday 28 October: The Crystal Ceiling: Women in Fantasy, with Charlaine Harris, Malinda Lo, Nancy Kilpatrick, & Jane Kindred. I’m not scheduled for a reading.

Like all authors, I’ll be attending the autographing on Friday night from 8 – 10 pm.

 

#4  As many if not all of you already know, Cold Fire was released last month in trade paperback and ebook (together with the bonus chapter), and Cold Magic is now available in mass market paperback and somewhat less expensive ebook.

A generous reader (from Spain!) has sent me a downloadable mobi version of the Bonus Chapter (done by her spouse) which I will make available soon, but it won’t be until next month just because of my schedule.

I haven’t forgotten about the Rory short story. It’s about 3/4rds done and will be announced here and on Twitter and Facebook when it’s complete.

I’m still at work on Cold Steel, and I will update about progress here when I have more to tell.

Also, a general thank you to my readers for your kind comments here, in email, and on Twitter & Facebook. I genuinely love hearing from you all. Writing is an oddly isolated and isolating activity, and I think it can seem at times that one is writing into a huge silence. Social media has begun to change that: There are good and bad sides to this: Online provides a terrible distraction when one is procrastinating or discouraged, but against that it is possible to interact more widely and all the way around the world. I think that is the coolest thing of all.

A Real Unreal Place: Sherwood Smith’s CORONETS AND STEEL and BLOOD SPIRITS

I love to read, and I particularly love to read novels that transport me to a place I normally could not go. This is one reason I read very little mainstream contemporary fiction or, indeed, much fiction at all set in the present day where I live. If I do read present-day-era fiction, it often contains what I’ll call a “genre” element, that is, something that sets it one or two or ten steps apart from “ordinary life” or, at least, the life I live in the USA.

Because another element I really love in novels is landscape: I enjoy visiting places I have never been or may never be able to go.

Sherwood Smith is one of my favorite world builders. Her Inda quadology is set in a secondary fantasy world (one not connected to this world) so fully imagined that I almost feel I have walked there. And that’s besides the well drawn characters and the complex, gripping plots.

In her Ruritanian fantasies CORONETS AND STEEL and BLOOD SPIRITS, Smith brings this same ability to fully create a thoroughly real unreal place in our world.

I’m not going to write up a plot synopsis; you can get that elsewhere, I don’t want to introduce spoilers, but mostly I’m no good at and dislike writing up plot synopses whether of my own work or someone else’s. It’s a skill I don’t really have. Suffice to say that the main character and narrator, Kim, is a California girl who travels to a small, isolated Eastern/Central European principality. This principality does not actually exist (thus the Ruritanian aspect of the story) but after traveling to Dobrenica in Smith’s capable hands, one is sure it could.

Dobrenica feels so real that I believe I could buy a train ticket to go there or perhaps that I already had. In both summer and winter–although especially in winter–the city, landscape, cultural traditions, and history are so strikingly well defined that the country seems to be of a piece with European history while being entirely its own unique place. I breathed the winter air; the fountains and curious old local customs are both equally visible in my mind’s eye. The salon where Kim fences with people who may be her adversaries or may be her allies has as much heft and texture as if I had walked there myself.

And that is all besides the lovely story of lost princesses, secret history, vampires, political machinations, a thematic disquisition on the power and weight of duty and honor, and of course swordplay. Highly recommended.

Pregnancy & Childbirth in SFF

Over at Tor.com, Kate Nepveu has written an interesting post about depictions of pregnancy and childbirth in sff.

 

I’m not great at coming up with examples on the fly (it takes me a while to sort through the bookshelves of my mind), but if you have examples either from work you’ve read or work you’ve yourself written, please go over there (or mention here and I’ll post it there) about sff that has non cliched or unusual depictions of pregnancy and/or childbirth and which don’t rely on the same few common tropes.